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NEW YORK (AP) - On a dark, blistery night in picturesque Park Slope, Brooklyn, an attractive and successful young woman was watching television. All seemed to be normal until a loud alarm began sounding down the hall. Due to the fact that the young woman's apartment is so large, it took her quite a while to reach the screeching sound. Upon arrival, she noted that the detector was shouting at her. "CARBON MONOXIDE DETECTED!!"

"I thought the battery was dead or something. I just thought, this canNOT be happening to me," stated the young woman." My second thought was, how can I turn this f***ing thing DOWN."

The "silent killer" had manifested itself into her residence, which is also her workplace. "I spend a lot of time here, so this totally freaked me out," she confessed.

Not soon after the third floor alarm sounded, the fourth and second floors followed. Clearly, something was afoot.

The woman swiftly and expertly dialed 911, and the fire department was rushed to the scene. Clamoring up the carpeted stairs to the Castle that awaited them on the third floor, they immediately seized the stove and dryer, cutting off the gas line that went to both. As they were unsure what the culprit was, they took every precaution.

One burly fireman with a thick Queens accent had this to say: "Well, here's the deal. When the detector says there's a level of CO higher than 9, we evacuate. There were parts of this apartment that were in the 30s."

Upon inspection of the basement, the additional firemen found levels of CO "through the roof" and blamed a potentially faulty boiler for the toxic gases. It was promptly shut off, and everyone braced themselves for a cold, hot-showerless night. Especially with the windows open to ventilate each apartment, the entire building quickly became an "icebox."

The brave young woman, unlike other New York residents, will NOT be moving back to her hometown using this as a thinly-veiled excuse to hide from the mounting unsuccessful 'acting' career she may or may not have been trying to pursue.

To send donations to the victims, please make checks out to Now is the New Please in multiples of $25.