New April

Subject: i am alive, fyi

thought you should know. that your best friend is alive and well. i am not dead. i repeat, NOT dead.

But are you still human?

LOW BLOW!!!!!!!!!!

That's not really an answer New April.

i'm old april! but i guess that's what new april would say huh? oh wait, this is like that scene in alice in WUNDERLUND where they won't let alice in because they don't believe it's her. b/c she's lost her MUCHNESS. omg it's like life imitating art imitating life!!!!!!!

Old April would NEVER lose her Muchness. I shall have to ask you a question only Old April could answer:

What is Old April a cross between?

(hint: it's a fad and a decade)

WHAT? only YOU would know this because you made it up. i THINK it's the 70s for the decade but what fad?! what is even considered a fad?? i'm so confused.

I knew we'd lost her.....

come on tellll meeeee and then give me another question.

DUH. April was a blend of a hipster and the 70's. But in a cool way.

I wonder what New April will be like. Obviously she's a liar.

HIPSTER!!!! that's a FAD? are you kidding me. it's a lifestyle, if anything, or a type of people in NYC/LA. if you had correctly identified that, maybe i could have gotten it.
new april will be able to give you everything and more old april could. now with more wit!

Would a normal person have said, "if you had correctly identified that, maybe i could have gotten it" NO. Only newly minted carbon monoxide aliens say things like that.

But I'm excited to get to know New April.

I'm glad you're not dead. I was hoping for a text or an email. Can New April read my thoughts?

i can tell you're hungry right now. and just got to work. how's that?

I did get to work, early @ 8:30. I had to let the cleaning lady in the house. And you're not wrong, I haven't eaten my yogurt yet. But I'm not hungry exactly. I'm still waking up.

Of course, since you're a fucking mind reading alien you knew all that already. DIDN'T YOU!?!

i did. also, i just ate some yogurt, too. WEIRD.